id be glad to
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
