wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
