apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
