Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
