I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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