im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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