scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
