I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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