My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
