you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
