Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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