Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
