You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
