I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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