i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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