She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
