Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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