I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
