Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
