Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
