I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
