More tranny stories later!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
