I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
