all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize