I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
