ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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