what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize