Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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