did you get engaged???
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So apparently I’m into choking now
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
