so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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