i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
