I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
