So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I will pee on everything he values.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
