but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
