we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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