The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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