he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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