so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
