How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
