He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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