oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
