sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
