fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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