Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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