idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
