Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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