Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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