just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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