Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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