i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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