I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
