My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
