Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
