i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
