Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
