We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
