My room smells like vodka and shame
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
