Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
