I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
